Gary Watton: young, gifted, and white: GREEDY BASTARDS of Great Britain; part three [***SEE ALSO http://aftu.webgarden.com]

Justifying The Unjustifiable

*My blog pieces are grammatically correct and I do not need to resort to any spell check. Consequently, purely in terms of English, this collectively places my blog easily amongst the top ten of blogs for proper use of the English language. Aren't you glad that you have paid a visit to here, you lucky, lucky people?!

**This beautiful blogsite is primarily a vehicle for uploading extracts from my many informative, insightful, insurrectionary, quality reference books. I wish for this site to raise my profile amongst the chattering classes, so that maybe one day I too can be invited onto radio discussion shows to offload my twopence worth. At present, British radio and television shows are over-populated with the same old talking heads. Is Matthew Parris really the voice of England? Does Stephen Fry hold the monopoly on wisdom?

***Also, unlike many attention-seeking uber-egos out there who expect everyone to follow them, if you follow me [RonGattway] on Twitter, I will return the favour. That is a promise.

****Finally, I am extremely grateful for all of the visitors to my site, but don't just browse at my book extracts, please purchase the publications that are showcased. They would make ideal presents for your family, friends, and even worst enemies. I can even arrange a discount if you contact me.

My undying love to you all,

Yours insincerely

'Gary Watton' xo

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

GREEDY BASTARDS of Great Britain; part three [***SEE ALSO http://aftu.webgarden.com]

The following 100 over-paid folk are from the civil service as quoted by the BBC in 2010. It's really strange but if you attended a meal with others and you helped yourself to a huge volume of food which stacked up on your plate, you would be castigated as being "greedy", yet in our perverse society, it seems perfectly acceptable for an elite group to accumulate enormous salaries while those poor buggers on benefits are expected to live on about eight or nine thousand pounds per year. The selfish swine below may be talented and even hard-working, but their greatest talent is to load their bank account with copious amounts of money from the taxpayer. Is this fair?
Joe Harley; Chief Information Officer of the DWP: £245,000
Sir Jock Stirrup; Chief of the Defence Staff: £240,000
Jeremy Beeton; former Director General of the Government Olympic Executive: £225,000
Clare Chapman; Director General of the Department of Health: £220,000
Paul Hemsley; Director of Finance at the Ordnance Survey: £120,000
David Green of the Crown Prosecution Service: £210,000
Patrick Crawford; Chief Executive at the Export Credits Guarantee Department: £205,000
Lin Homer; Chief Executive of the UK Border Agency: £205,000
Helen Kilpatrick; Director General at the Home Office: £205,000
Steve Lamey; Director General at HM Revenues & Customs: £205,000
DA Shields; Programme Director at OGC: £205,000
Dr Mike Mitchell; Head of National Networks Group: £200,000
D Pitchford; Director at OGC: £200,000
Andrew Tyler; Chief Operating Officer at the Ministry of Defence: £200,000
Christine Gilbert; Her Majesty's Chief Inspector at OFSTED: £195,000
James Hall; Chief Executive, Identity and Passport Service: £195,000
Andrew Manley; Director General at the Ministry of Defence: £195,000
Sir David Normington; Permanent Secretary at the Home Office: £195,000
Keir Starmer; Director of the Crown Prosecution Service: £195,000
Vanessa Lawrence; Chief Executive Officer of the Ordnance Survey: £190,000
Trevor Llanwarne; Government Actuary: £190,000
Andy Nelson; Chief Information Officer at the Ministry of Justice: £190,000
Jane Platt; Chief Executive of National Savings & Investments: £190,000
Nemat Shafiq; Permanent Secretary of the Department for International Development: £190,000
Tim Smith; Chief Executive of the Food Standards Agency: £190,000
Kevin White; Director General, Human Resources at the Home Office: £190,000
Professor Kent Woods; Chief Executive of the MHRA: £190,000
Simon Bowles; Chief Finance Officer at HM Revenue & Customs: £185,000
David Goldstone, formerly of the Government Olympic Executive: £185,000
Sir Leigh Lewis; Permanent Seretary at the DWP: £185,000
Darra Singh; Chief Executive of Jobcentre Plus: £185,000
N Smith; Chief Executive at OGC: £185,000
David Behan; Director General of Social Care: £180,000
David Bell; Permanent Secretary at the Department of Education: £180,000
Suma Chakrabarti; Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Justice: £180,000
Chris Last; HR Director General at the DWP: £180,000
Phil Pavitt; Chief Information Officer at HM Revenue & Customs: £180,000
Duncan Selbie; Chief Executive of the Department of Health: £180,000
Philip Collins; Chairman of the Office of Fair Trading: £175,000
Mike Falvey; Chief People Officer at HM Revenue & Customs: £175,000
Jim Gallagher; Director General - Devolution at the Ministry of Justice: £175,000
Mel Groves; former Project Director at the DWP: £175,000
Sir Bill Jeffrey; Permanent Under Secretary at the Ministry of Defence: £175,000
Sir Nicholas Macpherson; Permanent Secretary at HM Treasury: £175,000
Sir Kevin O'Donoghue; Chief of Defence Materiel: £175,000
Peter Ricketts; Head of the Diplomatic Service: £175,000
Air Marshal Peter Ruddock of the Ministry of Defence: £175,000
Nigel Shienwald; HM Ambassador to the United States of America: £175,000
Sir Mark Stanhope; First Sea Lord and Chief of the Naval Staff: £175,000
Jon Thompson; Director General at the Ministry of Defence: £175,000
Kim Darroch; UK Permanent Representative to the European Union: £170,000
John Hirst; Chief Executive at the Met Office: £170,000
Marco Pierleoni; Chief Land Registrar: £170,000
Geoffrey Podger; Chief Executive of the Health & Safety Executive: £170,000
Mike Robinson; Chief Executive of the UK Hydrographic Office: £170,000
Lesley Strathie; Chief Executive Officer at HM Revenue & Customs: £170,000
Sir Stephen Dalton; Chief of the Air Staff; £165,000
Lindsey Davies; Interim Regional Director of Public Health: £165,000
Carolyn Downs; Director General at the Ministry of Justice: £165,000
Sir Nicholas Houghton; Vice Chief of the Defence Staff: £165,000
Lorraine Langham; Director of Corporate Services at OFSTED: £165,000
Sir John McColl; Deputy Supreme Allied Commander, Europe: £165,000
Les Mosco; Director at the Ministry of Defence: £165,000
Hunada Nouss; Finance Director General of the DWP: £165,000
Sir David Richards; Chief of the General Staff: £165,000
R Shostak; Head of Prime Minister's Delivery Unit: £165,000
Moira Wallace; Permanent Secretary of the DECC: £165,000
Martin Bellamy; ICT Director of the Department of Health: £160,000
Robert Devereux; Permanent Secretary of the Department for Transport: £160,000
Helen Edwards; Director General - Justice Policy Group: £160,000
William Emery; Chairman of the Office of Rail Regulation: £160,000
Dave Hartnett; Permanent Secretary for Tax at HM Revenues & Customs: £160,000
Stephen Holt; Director of Change Management at the DWP: £160,000
Melanie Hunt; Director at OFSTED: £160,000
Peter Makeham; Director General at the Home Office: £160,000
Susanna Mason; Director at the Ministry of Defence: £160,000
Sir Jonathan Phillips; former Permanent Secretary at the Northern Ireland Office: £160,000
Nick Ramsay; Director at the Ministry of Justice: £160,000
Sir Trevor Soar; Navy Commander-in-Chief: £160,000
JMG Taylor; Financial Services and Stability Director at HM Treasury: £160,000
Sir Peter Wall; Army Commander-in-Chief: £160,000
Phil Wheatley of the National Offender Management Service: £160,000
Ursula Brennan; Second Permanent Under Secretary at the Ministry of Defence: £155,000
Bill Gunnyeon; Chief Medical Adviser and Chief Scientist at the DWP: £155,000
Archie Hughes; Chief Executive of the Defence Support Group: £155,000
Stephen Love; Chief Constable of Ministry of Defence police: £155,000
Jonathan Stephens; Permanent Secretary of the DCMS: £155,000
Paul Wiles; former Chief Scientific Adviser at the Home Office: £155,000
Mike Clasper; Chair of HM Revenue & Customs: £150,000
Peter Collis; former Chief Land Registrar: £150,000
John Goldup; Director at OFSTED: £150,000
Neil Hayward; Group HR Director at the Ministry of Justice: £150,000
Bruce Houlder QC; Director of Service Prosecutions: £150,000
Nirmal Kotecha of the Department for Transport, Highways Agency: £150,000
Patrick Leeson; Director at OFSTED: £150,000
TW Scholar; second Permanent Secretary at HM Treasury: £150,000
Beverley Shears of the National Offender Management Service: £150,000
Dame Helen Ghosh; Permanent Secretary of Defra: £140,000
Professor Robert Watson; Chief Scientific Adviser of Defra: £135,000
Philip Fletcher; Chairman of Ofwat: £105,000
SOURCE:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10202596

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Congratulations Gary Watton!

Gary Watton of Coleraine has made history by becoming the first winner of the annual Men's Points Table at the Portrush Parkrun of 2012-2013. This represents a victory for the underdog! Bravo, sir.

I thought that I would mention it here as a form of un-British gloating, because well if you scan through countless Facepuke updates from le menu peuple, all manner of nobodies are updating the most mundane, ridiculous trivia imaginable and their little cronies come on board and give their absurd updates a big thumbs up. For example, ‘I have managed to get through four bags of ironing, with only another four still to do’, which is then followed by about four hundred people hitting the like button. Flip me. Compared to such bullshit, I must be an outstanding success story.

I guess that ultimately it is about playing the game, in other words, selling your soul and accumulating a lot of horrible people as ‘friends’, and then posting Farcebook updates which your army of little minions then come alongside and pay tribute to. Oh I guess that mediocrity attracts mediocrity!

What appals me however are the self-important types who post a message on Facespook but don’t have the generosity of spirit to pay a moment’s heed to anybody else’s updates. It’s a case of ‘hey everyone. Look at me. I’ve got something really important and interesting to say. Come and assemble in your hundreds and read my half-baked nonsense about nothing in particular, but don’t expect me to go and give any time to your updates. I am far too much of an attention-seeker to look at and bother with anyone else’s updates’.

Now this is what disturbs me most about such little people: If you are married, and/or have children, and/or have work colleagues, and/or have loving relatives, then why the fuck do you still crave attention? I guess that folk who seem to be happily married and/or people with hundreds of [virtual] Facepuke friends are horrendously insecure!

A book publisher

GW PUBLICATIONS
If you are able and willing to furnish me with your book project, I am able and willing to publish it for thee. The finished item will be produced to a high specification which will compare favourably with any other product on any given book shelf. That I can promise thee. What I cannot promise is that you will become a best-selling author. However, do feel free to be seduced by other rogue publishers who may mislead you in terms of the eventual outcome. In the mean time, I have set out my stall avec the following questions and answers. Oh do feel free to scrutinise:

Q: Why would I wish to be published by your company when there are bigger, more famous firms out there?
A: Indeed, but you may discover that the large, mainstream publishers tend to back established writers and celebs. They don’t tend to entertain new writers, however talented they may be. We open a door for new writers.

Q: Does my book feature on billboards, magazine, radio, and television commercials?
A: Phew, in an ideal world it would, but regrettably only the huge publishing houses with the books by their non-writer megastars tend to afford such advertising campaigns. Thus, you will be advised to advertise via social networking sites.

Q: Will my book actually end up in the shops?
A: Yes, unlike lots of other publishers who merely promise the pathetic line about “your book will be available on Amazon”, when actually all books are “available on Amazon”. Instead, we do have books in a host of Waterstones and smaller retailers.

Q: How long would it take for my book to be published?
A: Once your work has been emailed to us, it can take as little as five weeks, and we guarantee no longer than five months. Our service includes proof-reading and also registering your book so that it is available for retail and for the libraries.

Q: Do you charge for your publishing service, and if so, how much?
A: Yes, we charge either £400, you receive 10% royalties and 10 complimentary copies or you pay £500, receive 20% royalties and 20 complimentary copies. By selling your 10 or 20 copies, you already will be recovering your relatively small outlay.

Q: Why do you charge these amounts?
A: For our small fee, £75 plus VAT goes towards the cover artwork. The printers also charge us about £100 for set-up costs. Your ten (or twenty) copies will cost us about £50 (or £100) including delivery charge. Your ISBN is worth about £10 too.

Q: Are you a vanity publisher that pockets a large fee and then cares little for subsequent sales?
A: On the contrary, as we are left with a minimal amount after the aforementioned costs (usually around £150), it is clearly in our interests to ensure lots of sales to increase our revenue and to boost your chances of royalties.

Q: Can you give me one good reason why I should invest with you?
A: You will be the owner of a quality paperback with an eye-catching, laminated cover. Your chances of being taken seriously next time by a larger publisher will increase if you have something in the public domain.

Q: What is the likely scenario after I have invested with your firm?
A: We contact almost 300 Waterstones stores plus several hundred independent retailers plus about thousands of British and Irish libraries. Your book will sell. Sales figures will clearly be conditioned by the subject of your book and its quality.

Q: Can you tell me a little bit more about your service?
A: We are called GW Publications. We have taken over another company called Parkbench Publications. You can email us at gw930@fsmail.net ***Other publishers advertise great offers but are shy at disclosing the small print. We at least publish our fees.***

My Obituary

Family and several friends were shocked, though not entirely surprised, to learn of the sudden death of Gary Watton after a lengthy illness. This supremely talented author, genius, and misfit had fought a courageous battle against alienation and loneliness.
A handful of people jumped at the opportunity to take a day off work and pay their insincere, clichéd respects at the funeral service which passed off without incident apart from when the deceased opened the coffin lid and grumpily exhorted the vicar to keep the noise down, before returning to sleep. At the graveside, a volley of shots was fired over the coffin by the Boys Brigade from their water pistols for their ex-volunteer. Also at the graveside, one relative was heard to remark: “I will miss his sarcasm”, while another mourner added: “I do not know how I will be able to cope without his cynicism.” Watton’s local pub landlord was visibly upset (at the thought that his takings would never be the same again) while a representative from the dead man’s mortgage lenders also expressed his regret at the unexpected death after a prolonged illness. It was however of some consolation to the assembled few that the deceased passed away noisily in his sleep.
The vicar (and presumably a part-time actor) spoke movingly of how the former author had been the very essence of warmth, pleasantness, and sheer joy, adding that no party had ever been complete without Mr Watton letting off steam about something or other. The local police Chief Inspector also paid tribute to how Gary had frequently helped the police with their enquiries. The mourners were assured that the deceased would be joining Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson, Joe Stalin, Jade Goody, and Frank Lampard’s mum in heaven.
At the conclusion of the burial, some relatives retired to a nearby hostelry where they drank several toasts to the deceased and recalled with considerable mirth, Gary Watton’s many embarrassing exploits, a session which predictably lasted into the wee small hours, before bracing themselves for the reading of the will to ascertain who would be the unfortunate recipient of his clothes and record collection.
Perhaps the most fitting epitaph for Gary Watton was conceived by himself: a hugely under-rated actor, comedian, dancer, politician, singer, and writer, there was nothing wrong with him that a little love and understanding wouldn’t have cured.
In lieu of flowers, please give a donation to the International Ranters’ Society or to S.P.I.T.E (the Society for the Preservation of Incredibly Talented Enigmas).

Gary Watton: young, gifted, and white

Pages

Justifying The Unjustifiable

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

GREEDY BASTARDS of Great Britain; part three [***SEE ALSO http://aftu.webgarden.com]

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