Charles Walker, an arrogant MP [see also http://aftu.webgarden.com]

On the eleventh of July 2013 it was revealed that the House of Commons MPs could look forward to a lovely pay rise, conveniently beyond the next general election. Imagine the difficulty that they might encounter on the proverbial doorsteps if they campaigned at the 2015 national beauty contest shortly after a pay increase had been implemented!
Anyhow, while the salary increase has been cleverly deferred until just beyond the next national poll, some MPs were expressing their unease at the pending pay award. However, not every parliamentarian was cringing with embarrassment.
One Charles Walker stepped forth to be interviewed for Radio Bore's 'The World Tonight' later that same day. Mr Walker proceeded to pour scorn upon Michael Gove's commendable attitude that "they" could "shove" his imminent pay rise. Well, an exorcised Mr Walker denounced Mr Gove and others who had expressed similar sentiments as "crass".
Mr Walker then went on to brazenly state that not only would he gladly accept his pay rise but that he had already planned to spend it upon his children. If you are a docile, glass half full creature, you might want to applaud Mr Walker for lovingly revealing that he is a devoted father. However, if you are a glass half empty specimen like yours truly, then you have to believe that with a generous salary of circa 65k per annum, Mr Walker's offspring already want for nothing from Daddy. Quite why Mr Walker feels that his children need to bear the fruits of his future windfall is beyond the reaches of my pretty little head.
However, here is the grim reality of Mr Walker's circumstances. I recently performed a study to ascertain what are the safest seats in the UK, and guess whose constituency just happened to be numbered amongst the 25 safest parliamentary seats? Yep, Mr Walker is the custodian of the Broxbourne seat, which is such a stronghold that clearly he can make bold pronouncements on the airwaves and be immune from any possible electoral repercussions.
Well, I exhort the hard-pressed citizens of leafy Broxbourne to mobilise a candidate who challenges Mr Walker whose smug complacency manifested itself in a shameless acceptance of his future pay award. Surely there might be several thousand folk in Broxbourne whose indignation just might be sufficiently aroused, or are you too comatose to confront the arrogant Mr Walker? Personally, I found his defiant stance all too reminiscent of a certain Mr Alan B'stard, MP.

Britain's Dangerous Seats [an extract from http://psephologist.blog.com]

I have already compiled a list on this blog page of the 25 safest seats in the House of Commons. In fact they are so secure that they could be described as “ultra safe”. Clearly, if there are indeed safe seats in which the incumbent MP or party only has to turn up to win the next contest at such a constituency, it must logically follow that various seats are the opposite of “safe”……. dangerous, in other words.
Dangerous is a slighty peculiar word as it suggests that the seat at Westminster is bad for the health of its user. That might be pushing melodrama a tad too far, but there are certainly a whole host of constituencies where the MP’s tenure is indeed tenuous as he or she won election to parliament in May 2010 on the back of a wafer-thin majority.
In fact, not only was the eventual outcome of the last British general election rather close, at least in so far as no party was able to command an overall majority, but I discovered whilst rummaging through all the results that there was a huge amount of constituency contests which were also mighty close. I have therefore taken the trouble to record the following forty-one constituencies where the winning margin didn’t even exceed one thousand votes.
Most of these seats will form the heart of the electoral battleground at the next national poll as they will be termed as “key marginals”. Obviously every political party aims in theory to win every constituency that they contest, but I have highlighted the party which will be targeting each of the listed seats. However, although about half of the listed seats are indeed dangerous and definitely up for grabs, the statistics are also slightly misleading. For example, if Labour was to enjoy any kind of swing at the next general election (and the consensus of opinion is that they will recover from their 2010 setback) then the seats where Labour won narrowly in 2010 will be much safer in 2015.
Similarly, there are many constituencies not included where the current parliamentary majority may be several thousand, but again a notable swing to Labour could place many other incumbents in peril at the next national beauty contest. Therefore, the enclosed list comprises the forty-one seats that incurred the slenderest winning margin in 2010. It does not automatically follow that in every instance, such constituencies will produce a photo-finish again. Clear as mud?
Amber Valley: Conservative majority – 536; Labour target
Ashfield: Labour majority – 192; Liberal Democrat target
Bolton West: Labour majority – 92; Conservative target
Bradford East: Liberal Democrat majority – 365; Labour target
Broxtowe: Conservative majority – 389; Labour target
Camborne and Redruth: Conservative majority – 66; Liberal Democrat target
Cardiff North: Conservative majority – 194; Labour target
Carlisle: Conservative majority – 853; Labour target
Chesterfield: Labour majority – 549; Liberal Democrat target
Derby North: Labour majority – 613; Conservative target
Dorset Mid and Poole North: Liberal Democrat majority – 269; Conservative target
Dudley North: Labour majority – 649; Conservative target
Edinburgh South: Labour majority – 316; Liberal Democrat target
Fermanagh and South Tyrone: Sinn Fein majority – 4; Unionist target
Great Grimsby: Labour majority – 714; Conservative target
Hampstead and Kilburn: Labour majority – 42; a Conservative and Liberal Democrat target
Hendon: Conservative majority – 106; Labour target
Hull North: Labour majority – 641; Liberal Democrat target
Lancaster and Fleetwood: Conservative majority – 333; Labour target
Morecambe and Lunesdale: Conservative majority – 866; Labour target
Newton Abbot: Conservative majority – 523; Liberal Democrat target
Norwich South: Liberal Democrat majority – 310; Labour target
Oldham East and Saddleworth: Labour majority – 103 [The majority increased in 2011]; Liberal Democrat target
Oxford West and Abingdon: Conservative majority – 176; Liberal Democrat target
Rochdale: Labour majority – 889; Liberal Democrat target
Sheffield Central: Labour majority – 165; Liberal Democrat target
Sherwood: Conservative majority – 214; Labour target
Solihull: Liberal Democrat majority – 175; Conservative target
Southampton Itchen: Labour majority – 192; Conservative target
Stockton South: Conservative majority – 332; Labour target
Swansea West: Labour majority – 504; Liberal Democrat target
Telford: Labour majority – 978; Conservative target
Thurrock: Conservative majority – 92; Labour target
Truro and Falmouth: Conservative majority – 435; Liberal Democrat target
Walsall North: Labour majority – 990; Conservative target
Warwickshire North: Conservative majority – 54; Labour target
Waveney: Conservative majority – 769; Labour target
Weaver Vale: Conservative majority – 991; Labour target
Wells: Liberal Democrat majority – 800; Conservative target
Wirral South: Labour majority – 531; Conservative target
Wolverhampton South West: Conservative majority – 691; Labour target
*See also http://psephologist.blog.com
 

Britain's Safest Seats [an extract from http://psephologist.blog.com]

What constitutes a safe seat? Let me throw the following suggestion out there. First of all, it is not sufficient to state that a seat is safe if the elected Member of Parliament possesses more than half of the vote. At Bristol North East in 1970, Robert Adley accumulated more than fifty per cent of the votes cast, but his majority was a measly 462. This may be an extreme example, but it does illustrate that just because Candidate A has more votes than all the other candidates added together, this does not automatically render he or she the custodian of a safe seat.

I would argue that a seat is safe (indeed ultra-safe) if the MP’s majority is greater than the total votes polled by the other candidates. I am guessing that one will struggle to find too many occasions when this safe seat scenario has not been valid. One occasion when such a safe seat is indeed unsafe is at a by-election. Glasgow East in 2008 illustrates this exception.

Anyhow, now that the Boundary Commission’s most recent recommendations have regrettably been mothballed, I have taken the liberty of pouring over all the 650 constituency results from the most recent British general election charade in May 2010. Applying my criteria, I was surprised to find only 25 seats which fall into my safe seat category. I think that we can safely say that there are a great many more constituencies where the current incumbent can sleep safely in their bed in advance of their next beauty contest in 2015. Therefore, it might be more prudent to define my findings as ultra-safe seats, in other words, the kind of constituency contests which are basically non-contests, the political equivalent of a five furlong horse race involving a champion sprinter competing against three or four donkeys. The listed constituencies consequently can be described as Britain’s safest 25 seats, where to coin a phrase, the incumbent MP ‘only has to turn up to win’. You won’t find too may high profile politicians and front-bench spokespersons campaigning in such constituencies, because their result will be deemed a foregone conclusion. Instead, those persons living within the confines of a key marginal will instead have the joy or pain of a multitude of heavyweight politicos tramping up and down their shopping precincts and beyond, ensuring that every possible vote can be squeezed out of such target seats at the next national poll.

Meanwhile, here are the 25 seats that appear to be ‘safe as houses’, five of which are in the current possession of the Conservative Party while the Labour Party currently lays claim to seventeen such Westminster strongholds. In the list underneath, the MPs are Conservative, unless otherwise stated. Only thirteen are located in England’s green and pleasant land, while there are none in Wales. Northern Ireland boasts two such ultra-safe seats whilst north of the border, there are no fewer than ten mega-safe seats. The MPs of such fiefdoms will not thank me for publishing these findings as perversely there is nothing that galvanises people more than the thought that they and their vote are taken for granted. Could a surprise therefore be on the cards? I doubt this somehow!   

[compiled by Gary Watton; author of The Celtic Fringe (GW Publications, 2012) under the anagram pseudonym of 'Grant Toway']

Beaconsfield
Belfast West [Sinn Fein]
Birkenhead [Labour]
Bootle  [Labour]
Chelsea and Fulham
Coatbridge, Chryston and Bellshill [Labour]
Down North [Independent Unionist]
Dunbartonshire West [Labour]
Easington  [Labour]
East Ham [Labour]
Glasgow North East  [Labour]
Glasgow South West  [Labour]
Glenrothes  [Labour]
Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath  [Labour]
Knowsley  [Labour]
Maldon
Motherwell and Wishaw  [Labour]
Orkney and Shetland [Liberal Democrat]
Paisley and Renfrewshire South  [Labour]
Rayleigh and Wickford
Richmond (Yorkshire)
Rutherglen and Hamilton West  [Labour]
South Holland and The Deepings  [Labour]
Tottenham  [Labour]
West Ham  [Labour]

Britain's Fascist Regime

Britain is a fascist democracy. A what? I hear you say. Seriously, folks. Our parents, grandparents, and assorted ancestors went to war in the early 1940s seemingly to defeat the disease of fascism, or more particularly Nazism. However, fascism is still alive and thriving today in Britain and the western world, many decades after the heroic sacrifices of our predecessors. Permit me to explain.

Well, first of all, let us briefly tackle the myth that Britain fought and conquered fascism in the early 1940s. The reality is that the Nazi brand of fascism drew its racist inspiration from an Englishman by the name of Chamberlain: Houston Stewart Chamberlain [who married into the Wagner family]. Nazism was based upon totally misguided racial theories. The Japanese harboured similar racialist tosh during their barbaric flexing of muscles for a decade up to the necessary dropping of the atom bombs. Fascism was not defeated in 1945. It is prevalent in Britain and the First World. It is no longer a racist ideology of gobbledygook, but instead has become a lot more subtle.

Instead, I would argue that fascism is derived primarily from the Nietzschean concept of the Supermen – individuals who by dint of their skills and talent are supposedly superior to other lesser mortals whom he termed Untermenschen. Well, speaking as a self-respecting Untermensch, I live in a society where celebrities, sporting superstars, business leaders, politicians, and the royal scroungers all earn amounts of money which far exceed the income and ‘wealth’ of the great unwashed. How can it be permissible if fat cat bankers and MPs are not willing to get out of bed for less than about sixty thousand pounds per annum whilst they exhort many millions of the populace to make do with the minimum wage? Why are some people much more handsomely rewarded than others? Is this merely a manifestation of a meritocracy where the high-flying achievers acquire much more wealth and rewards than the under-achievers? Why do the middle-class professionals get exorcised when their retirement funds or pensions are jeopardised and are strangely silent about the have-nots in our selfish society? Could it be that many folk feel that their university education has earned them the right to become a two or three-car family with a holiday home or regular holidays abroad whilst the uneducated should content themselves with much less? Is this not fascism: the belief that some people are more superior than others and deserve much more? This is fascism in its purest, impure concept.

I would venture to state that it is a case of meritocracy gone mad and is instead in keeping with Nietszchean fascism, the notion that certain people are more superior than others and that these Ubermensch deserve more wealth than the Untermensch. The government policy as practised by administration after administration, regardlesss of their apparent political label, is one of containment of the grievances of the underdogs and doing the bare minimum to redistribute income and wealth. No government has the moral courage to confront the great taboo of British politics and society which is to demand that the Head of State and her vast entourage pay their fair share and make a suitable contribution to the economy. It seems that our political leaders are terrified of questioning the royal scrooges in case they take umbrage and refuse to confer knighthoods and such awards. Clearly, patronage is very much part and parcel of the British Establishment. It simpy won’t do to offend the monarch whilst the greed of the monarchy is itself offensive to any sensible observer.  Perhaps John Lydon, vocalising in 1977, was correct after all when he stated “God save the Queen, the fascist regime.”

A British Holocaust?

The purpose of this blog piece is to highlight the state-sponsored terror that was doled out to the populace during the seemingly eventful decades during which the Tudor family sat on the throne. It is not a mere recital of Foxe’s Book Of Martyrs nor intended as a chronology of Catholic martyrdom. Instead, I feel it necessary to demonstrate just how vengeful and murderous Henry VIII was, whilst also drawing your attention to the misery, pain, torture and worse that was inflicted by Henry’s two daughters upon a whole host of brave souls whose religious convictions were at variance with that of the reigning monarch. Good old Harry of England may have his fan club, but was he far removed from being an early version of Joe Stalin?         

• 

   [Was Henry VIII a great king or just a sixteenth-century Idi Amin?]

          Anyhow I would quickly like to emphasise that the Tudors did not enjoy the monopoly on inflicting suffering upon their naughty subjects. There was widespread barbarity visited upon the peoples of the British Isles long before and indeed long after the last of the Tudor monarchs exited the stage in 1603. Why is it then that I and many others have always been drawn to the soap opera of the sixteenth century? I would venture to suggest that the callous cruelty that we associate particularly with the reigns of Henry VIII and his daughters Mary and Elizabeth owes itself to the religious upheaval that Martin Luther instigated around 1517 when he unwittingly founded the Protestant Reformation, a fact all the more absurd when one considers that this pioneer was himself a Catholic monk. Ever since Luther’s rebellion against Rome, Europe was plunged into turmoil. What renders the situation a matter of life and death is that the two respective camps had a clear sense of black and white on matters spiritual. Anyone who dared to oppose or reform the old religion was an enemy of Rome and had to be literally extinguished. By the same token, once Protestantism took hold, those who steadfastly clung to the old religion were regarded as equally too dangerous to tolerate. The concepts of compromise and tolerance and mutual respect and understanding were anathema to the religious fanatics and devout worshippers of the sixteenth century. In many respects, the so-called Christians of this epoch were fighting their very own Jihad, but against each other. It is against these unfolding circumstances that the Tudor monarchs were confronted with all manner of heretics and perceived traitors. In such unenlightened times, it was reckoned that the only means of killing an idea was to exterminate every last soul who possessed such an idea or faith. The modern-day perpetrators of genocide still entertain the naive notion that a belief can be killed off by removing everyone who holds that belief. Easier said than done. 
          Before we pour over the list of over seven hundred wretched souls who paid the ultimate price during the tumultuous Tudor years, I would like to enlighten you with the following items of trivia, which you may or may not already be familiar with.
          Firstly, did you know that the lucky victims of a beheading who were spared the prolonged agony of a hung, drawn, and quartered ordeal could potentially remain conscious for several seconds after they had been decapitated? This is a medical fact.
          Secondly, it was customary to pay the executioner in a beheading in order to bribe the axeman to complete his gruesome task to the best of his peculiar talent. However, not all victims received value for money. The dastardly ex-Lord Chancellor Thomas Cromwell and Robert Devereux, the Earl of Essex were two such notable persons whose heads refused to exit the rest of their body at the first attempt, leaving them and others in such circumstances in considerable pain for longer than their wages to the executioner had bargained for.
          Thirdly, the executioner was expected to ask the imminent victim for his or her forgiveness ahead of the fatal blow. It is also worth pointing out that if there was an unenviable queue of ‘offenders’ awaiting their fate on the block, they were dealt with in decreasing ‘order of importance’. The individual of highest rank and noble birth was permitted the extra privilege of being decapitated first. So what? Well, if you consider the five unfortunates who were each falsely accused of being in an adulterous relationship with Queen Anne Boleyn, then you can imagine the amount of blood flowing literally on the block and the scaffold by the time that victim number five, the wretched Mark Smeaton was required to die. Going first and getting the ordeal over with was something to wish for!
          Fourthly, although the victim was usually granted an opportunity for a pre-execution oration atop the scaffold, some offenders deemed it prudent not to condemn their accusers for fear of retribution being meted out against their bereaved families.
          Fifthly, the hung, drawn, and quartered punishment is slightly inaccurately named. Initially, the wretch was drawn by horse through the streets to their place of execution, then he would have been half-hanged, but cruelly kept alive, and then the ritual culminated in a disembowelling, before the corpse would be sliced into four and distributed to vantage points in the vicinity as a reminder of what awaited anyone who contemplated a treasonable act. Therefore, strictly speaking, the punishment was actually drawn, partially hung, and quartered.  
          It is also worth pointing out that the victims who were burnt at the stake were being ‘purged’ of their sinful heresy in order to render them worthy of eternal salvation. This peculiar practice was widespread at the time of the Spanish Inquisition. It became commonplace in England in the 1550s on account of the fact that Queen Mary was effectively a Spanish monarch, given that her mother and her new spouse both hailed from Spain. Anyhow, it was deemed to be infinitely more preferable to burn for a few hours on earth than supposedly to burn forever in Hell. Thus the torture of being fried alive in a town or village square was an act of generosity!
 
 [Mary I (reigned from 1553-1558) was a hate-figure among Protestants!]
          Did you also know that the remarkable Anne Askew [see below] is believed to be the only female who was subjected to the gruesome torture of the rack, an interrogation method which became commonplace decades later for Catholic priests during the Elizabethan era when the threat from Spain heightened a sense of anti-papist hysteria. Every individual listed below has a remarkable story to tell beyond the grave. One person who escaped martyrdom was the exceptionally fortunate Robert Benet, a Mayor of Windsor, who was condemned to be burnt at the stake, but who was peculiarly excused by dint of the fact that he was unwell!
          Also of interest, thinks me, is the fact that some individuals who were transported to the Tower of London by barge along the River Thames would have had to wait the turning of the tide before he or she could proceed with their potentially final journey. Never has the ominous phrase ‘the turning of the tide’ seemed quite so poignant. 
          On the subject of the imposing royal fortress in central London, it ought to be pointed out that for all its horrible dungeons, such as the pit and the infamous tiny cell dubbed ‘Little Ease’, the Tower of London was relatively palatial in contrast to almost any other prison or municipal jail up and down the country, in an age when the notion of prison reform was but a foreign language. Special mention also ought to be assigned to the chief tormentor of Catholics in the last two decades of the sixteenth century, Richard Topcliffe. Old Topcliffe thrived on inflicting torture and even installed a customised rack in his own house for those of a papist inclination. To those who still regard Catholicism as a manifestation of the devil, then Topcliffe is presumably a hero. For the rest of humanity, this gent ranks very highly [or lowly] amongst the most sadistic and barbaric of interrogators.
          Did you also know that one of Anne Boleyn’s favourite Bible stories, derived from the middle of the Old Testament, relates to how Queen Esther saved her people and fellow-believers from extermination at the hands of the evil anti-Semitic Haman? However, Thomas Cromwell managed to postpone the same fate as Haman by striking first against Queen Anne Boleyn in the spring of 1536.
          Furthermore, en route to a trial, the accused would be preceded by an individual who carried an axe facing away from he or she. However, when a guilty verdict was conferred on the accused, he or she would leave the court proceedings with an axe pointed towards them to inform bystanders of the death sentence. Such procedure was reportedly enacted upon the likes of Anne Boleyn and Lady Jane Grey.
          Finally, there are a number of myths about Tudor history which I will briefly address here. In the first instance, Henry VIII may be the founder of the Church of England but he remained staunchly Catholic until his dying day in 1547. Also, although Anne Boleyn is heralded as a champion of the English reformation, she too remained a Catholic until she breathed her last in May 1536. It was indeed Edward VI, the ill-fated male heir of Henry VIII who was England’s first Protestant sovereign. It is also worth noting that King Henry’s sixth and final wife, Catherine Parr actually came perilously close to joining two of her predecessors on the scaffold. An ageing Henry was growing tired of Catherine’s reformist tendencies. Fortunately for Mrs Henry VIII, she was tipped off about the sovereign’s concerns and she had the presence of mind to row back from her theological sermonising. It almost certainly spared her, though she did not long survive her ailing husband. Furthermore, although Mary and her estranged younger sister Elizabeth merit much scorn for their own reigns of terror, they did feel varying degrees of regret and sorrow for approving respectively the executions of Lady Jane Grey and Mary Queen of Scots. 

• 

[Elizabeth I was equally 'bloody' towards the Catholic clergy]

       Okay, that’s enough bits and pieces of dead bodies for thee. Let us now solemnly browse through the list of high-profile victims of a Tudor tyranny which perhaps collectively cast the shadow of holocaust over the history of Britain. Pedants will correctly point out that a holocaust constitutes a widespread massacre of a large volume of people. Also, a catalogue of over seven hundred executions, spanning a little over a century scarcely merits the word massacre. However, I did insert a question mark in the title, thereby allowing the reader to decide whether there is a case for arguing that the Tudor terror amounts to a holocaust. Nevertheless, it almost goes without saying, but I shall say it anyhow, but these are effectively the ‘celebrity deaths’. The recorded executions below are but the tip of the Tudor iceberg. Indeed, it has been estimated that perhaps as many as seventy-two thousand souls were on the receiving end of capital punishment during the reign of Henry VIII. Maybe the word holocaust is not entirely misplaced after all.
          The litany of victims below paid with their life in almost every instance for either heresy or treason. In fact, one could argue that heretics were traitors and traitors were heretics. In the days of ‘the divine right of Kings’, defying the monarch was tantamount to defying God, while declining to submit to the church of state was equally akin to refusing allegiance to the sovereign. Oh, and if you were given the choice between being hung, drawn, and quartered, or being burnt at the stake, well it is a tad like being between a rock and a hard place. For me, I would opt for the burning, if only because many of the victims were strangled before the flames took hold. Oh such Christian compassion!
          Many more poor souls were executed during the Tudor era. There is simply not enough space to chronicle all such misfortunes. Oh and I would also like to state that irrespective of one’s religious allegiances [or lack of them], there should not be any hierarchy of victims. The list underneath is by no means exhaustive, but perhaps exhausting!
*THE LIST CAN BE FOUND AT THE FOLLOWING SITE: http://gw930.blog.com/the-tudor-tyranny/

A beautiful extract from the informative music publication, 'You Are A Tube!'; only £9.99; xo

Too Experienced

by the Bodysnatchers (1980)

This was a B-side of a minor hit for this all-female group that signed to the fledgling Two Tone Records label. The lead singer was Rhoda Dakar who a couple of years later had another minor hit when she sang the lead role on 'The Boiler', a harrowing tale about date rape, which had originally been co-written by four of this group. Regrettably, the Bodysnatchers only snatched bodies for a brief time before some of them found future employment as the Belle Stars who had a giant hit with the

outstanding 'Sign Of The Times' in early 1983.

This is a soul version of a Rock Steady classic. [mthai66]

love these gals, a crime they never did a studio lp to release! [TheRealTommyRock]

Awesome blast from the past! :-))) [ReidOriginals]

This tune would be considered Reggae. [TxTFamGuy1]

This is just class in a glass, it really doesn't come much better than this for pure 2-Tone delight. [ganbowling]

This has always been one of my favourite second wave ska songs. [vonratt]

This is 2-tone, not ska. A Reggae cover of Bob Andy... [Cash82Mx]

must say that this has to be one of my fave 2-tone tracks. it seems to be forgotten by the ska ccompilation compilers. Why? [christopherdavidsims]

first record i bought [liamnicg]

i have the disc, 45rpm 7", thats wonderfull! [furiaCZN]

I never thought I would get to hear it again after having it on the 'THIS ARE 2TONE' vinyl album years ago. Think the album has been deleted now... [ZIG139]

author: 'This Are 2-Tone' was the compilation album where I got acquainted with this item and with 'The Boiler'.

for some reason I wish amy was around to cover this [gavkasso]

Centerfold

by J. Geils Band (1981)

This track from their 'Freeze Frame' album was a big hit in the UK and an even bigger sensation in its native land where it occupied the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for six weeks. Funnily enough, it was knocked off the USA summit by another sing-along rock song 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll'.

High School memories at their best! [goatboyful]

i wish they still made songs like this screw 2012 [tzracing29]

So this was the song that was #1 on the billboard charts the week I was born. I remember this song, my dad, a musician would play this song himself an awful lot- I think I know why now. Very cool. [Specailk007]

just love that beginning it's so amazing :) [USMachinimaCorps]

This band was a big influence on early Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. [CurtisMateer]

ahhh the good old days [brendanaruba]

For those of you who dont know this song was actually about the lead singers girlfriend who was a Playboy Bunny, and she was always on the centerfold of the mags, so he worte this song. [BeatleBoy1235]

Not 100% true. This was about a girlfriend in Highschool that he saw in a centerfold of Playboy. He did talk to her after he saw her, but nothing more came of it. But as per a VH1 popup video, he had a lot of relations with just about every girl on the set of this song so I don't think he was too worked up over it. [forcrz6]

I remember when I was little me and my older brother would always jump around the bed while we where hearing this song. Now I have finally found this song again and tears run down my chin because the memories are so fantastic [MperorM]

you need to take those Nostalgia googles off. Anything seems "special" if it's from when you were young. [widdlepuddyfat]

author: Your point is a good one, if a tad cynical.

Dancing On The Floor (Hooked On Love) by Third World (1981)

They did indeed originate from the 'third world' country of Jamaica and this has prompted them to be mistaken for yet another reggae act. The truth is that Third World leaned a lot more towards disco than roots reggae. This hit does live up to its title. It's one for dancing on the floor to.

Just a fantastic track, Man this is so good, what a great reggae groove, all time favourite. At 60yrs old this still takes me back to my youth & it will never fade.. try Now that weve found love... Love it, dancing as I type...Yes Love is at your rescue.. [lawistheking]

beautiful mellow vibe,still fresh [hadidta]

Lovely reggae groove [macclesfield35]

Up there with the greats! [pomeroykeith]

wow I can't stop movin! [NecipPerver]

That's what I call music. [homenation]

Love this song!!! use to dance to this in the night clubs. [MrTahana28]

Damn, I love this song! ... love is at your rescue! [Kmontage]

30 years old and still sounding catchy! [vcrjgf08]

dancing on the floor and now that we found love, my top two favourite records ever.brings back some great memories and some sad ones aswell. you all take care. [funkmegentley]

Its early eighties and I am dancing on the floor--beautiful memories. [349quinman]

the sweetest song of them!!Love it [pare5markes]

great !! [DJKNEK1]

kraker!!! [mssuperaap]

Wordy Rappinghood

by Tom Tom Club (1981)

Half of the Talking Heads, namely Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth, created their own offshoot, called Tom Tom Club. Along with 'Genius Of Love' with its animated video, this is the club's most memorable record.

I wanted to leave a comment, but what are words worth? [cellosareawesome]

It can't be understated how much this influenced hiphop for years to come. [eternal0star]

good words and baaad words [ivancalvario]

80's sound...Classic! [dbernal031]

Brilliant song!! [EdEditz]

This song is so girly! [beautifulmoneek]

It may not seem very special today, but I remember how it blew me off my feet in '81. I had never heard anything like it. [baetterdoe]

So cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [rosilva0909]

I Most Deff Like The Rhythm To This Songg :D <3 [ShessDaddiee]

I remember when I first heard this song I was like, WOW! Very creative. Tom Tom Club were a distinct act. That's what made them appealing. [MrKevin619ism]

I suppose that the quality of a song is assured when one first discovers this song 30 years after its intial release and likes it. [McLarenMercedes]

Ok, this song reminds me of how many drugs were actually done in the 80's. But I LOVE IT! [brokenheartmender]

Way ahead of their time [Burtchaell]

This was a major 1981 hit [hhamaildk]

Human Nature by Michael Jackson (1982)

For me, this is an overlooked classic pop song from MJ's 'Thriller' LP. Unfortunately, the YouTube site again was plagued with folk expressing their condolences to this giant of a human being who brought such joy to the whole world. Actually, many of his songs were great, but he was no

saint or superman. He had a flawed human nature, just like everyone else.

It ain't hard to tell that this is a good song [nicholasny23]

My all time favorite MJ song of all time !!!!!! [666brandohill1]

Best song!!!! [Luigi1free]

@666brandohill1 i agree this is my favorite of his as well [MethodofModernLove]

Human Nature is the Best!!;) [greeeen2828]

he didn't die he just wen't home [MarioMario6298]

my favorite MJ song ever. [gogetta025]

Too bad his Human Nature was to be the scum of the earth. Even in death he was capable of ruining a man's life. [TheDavid3663]

Wow this song is just so... wow... Yeah I have no words! [Burdjur]

Why Why did he have to die [grivett40]

cool [423coolkid]

It would have been super badass if Queen & Michael Jackson had made a song together. [orionthion]

He looked good darker just sayin [josornio300]

he died too late for a peado but ffs i loved this song. [itswoody4u68]

Quality [afroguy226]

More Than This

by Roxy Music (1982)

Ten years after the successful issue of their début single, 'Virginia Plain', Roxy Music scored with a hit single from the 'Avalon' LP that oozes quality. The music is first class and Bryan Ferry's vocal delivery is as smooth as a baby's bottom. If you're ever in search of a classy pop song, don't go to Google, just check this item out.

Damn this sounds good. Hey kids: That's called singing. No auto-tune needed. [yakfitguy]

Smooth and sexy. I still melt at the sound of this song. [Ozzymum3]

beautiful song!! [agusravegdl]

magnifique !!! [mrsprs1375]

I can never get enough of Roxy Music!!! [wendykizer]

One of the best bands ever. [lesassassins]

totally unrecognized and under-rated ode to agnosticism [citylimitsdvd]

Classic.. in every way u look at it. [23jordanian]

Now this is a little thing I like to call MUSIC! [MonkeyZorr]

Something so bittersweet about this song... [MusicLessons]

this song drums up so many feelings for me its remarkable, I am an emotional mess now with the last strains of this glorious melody still echoing through my tiny apartment [TheDarkstar333]

The fact people can't believe it isn't autotune just shows how disconnected people these days are from the fact that there really were some people that could sing that well! Also, this sounds nothing like autotune...80's reverb isn't autotune! [MrG0p0p]

What an awesome group they were. [Niblipix]

author: Hey thanks, dude.

Steppin' Out by Joe Jackson (1982)

Here is another gorgeous transatlantic hit single that ought to silence detractors of 'eighties pop. Joe Jackson has issued a composition that sits comfortably with any product in any other decade.

What a great song ! [kdwestbrooks]

I love this. [GoukiTehPwner]

Love this song! The piano in this is awesome!....J [RedJragon1]

great song of the 80's !! [Hellfire5500]

dude this song is one of those NO ONE should never get tired of[thetealeo]

a very nice orginal tune that reminds me of a long time ago [elvispresley718]

I loved this song since I first heard it as a little kid. Glad my parents are Joe Jackson fans. [bobojack83]

A great classic from my high school days, and always great to hear. [Multi80schick]

I cannot hear this song enough right now. We need more of this class in our charts today. [kkly27]

I too love the bass on this song. by way is that a synth doing the piano part? [oldermusiclover]

i had this tune stuck in my head for weeks..it got so bad that i went online and went through every eighties song trying to figure out who sang it and the actual name....with the help of my awesome sister here i am...this song is way BOSS [COCOALUV4LIFE]

This song makes me wanna do my happy dance, even if before I had a sad face. [SignoraArcobaleno]

This is my favorite 80's song XD [Megan1156]

Theme From Harry's Game

by Clannad (1982)

It is hard to conceive that Derek Thompson who plays the likeable male nurse Charlie in BBC's 'Casualty' once played the IRA terrorist in 'Harry's Game'. The music to this drama series was composed and performed by the talented Brennan family from Donegal, otherwise known as Clannad.

ive always loved this beautiful song, sung to perfection, it will be my last song ever! clannad are amazing in this performance, still, amazing, eletric, and thinkable, xx love it x [freshborn66]

love this [rakennaugh]

Remember watching the series all those years ago...........The Perfect song to complement it! [penfloyd]

Very nice song ... In Irish ;) [Ellen97om]

Clannad are Irish certainly. But I heard them being interviewed on the radio, and they said that this tune was Scottish. Not that it matters much, as the Scots and the Irish pinch each others' tunes all the time. Scotland the Brave, for example, is Irish. [tigranvartanovitch]

IMO, their most iconic and incredible song. [tedly1911]

Always reminds me of Belfast in the bad times. [fabulousgerro66]

haunting and beautiful, I have always loved this song x [willshewontshe69]

Beautiful. [GingerHebblethwaite0]

i find peace in this , i find myself in this , i find all things that i want in this , i find the vocal visual and the visual vocal ,,,,its eternal...please love this.. [sommy38]

this is a magical yet haunting piece of music that will be my entrance into the cave where I am getting married :o) [kizza170]

sit bake an chill [garymcilwaine1]

 

Time (Clock Of The Heart)

by Culture Club (1982)

This was a successful follow-up to the foursome's UK chart-topper 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me'. It is a sensitive tune with great strings and a saxophone solo thrown in for good measure. It's a reminder of the value of 'eighties pop from one of its leading protagonists.

This song was about Boy George's gay love for the drummer. No joke. [Ihatethisugh1]

Timeless [MrJdp1968]

oh man i'm so glad i was a child of the 80's [pearlexport32]

this is sooo beautiful..... and i just heard this song for the first time a couple of days ago...... this is timeless. Lol [kobebaker09]

Great song [carrtex]

author: It deservedly climbed into the UK Top Three.

" dont put your head on my shoulder " combined with that drum and bass line . pure genius [peterpetersbng]

I love this song! [VanitieGrace]

This song is the truth. I liked it as a kid because it had a catchy tune. I did not understand what he was talking about until i was grown. I love this song. Boy George was a very good singer and song writer. Need artist like him around now. [tonyvalentine3]

This song was so OVER-played when it was released, I thought i'd never enjoy hearing it again. (: WRONG :) In time it was so much more. [mortygirly]

One of the most brutally honest songs ive ever heard, yet beautiful [eerhtythgie11]

If you're in love with a man or woman, it doesn't matter, TIME will either make or break your relationship. Time will catch up with all of us! Live life! Love life now! Pretty soon it's over. [Placidfaced]

Borderline

by Madonna (1983)

This was one of the first hit singles which announced the arrival of the latest pop sensation, Madonna. She certainly proved to be no Virgin Mary, but the American songbird soon proceeded to conquer planet pop with a multitude of hit records. I also like 'Live To Tell' which demonstrated her

versatility as it was completely different to this tune. Nevertheless, I regard 'Borderline' as one of the best pop songs in popular music.

you can't beat that intro. totally classic pop brilliance [S2Cents]

It was such a simpler, happier time (well, except for that whole unpleasant Cold War thing) [krystlerita]

Actually, AIDS had just hit the world in 1981 and no one knew what it was or what to do about what looked like an instant death sentence for millions. I don't think times were ever simpler. Be well and happy now! Happy new year. [alexuniverse]

At her best [bruceleekick1]

pop masterpiece [ColdOasisU2]

This is back when Madonna was still really good. Before she became a, a, a---oh yeah, a douche bag. [smokiebird06]

This song -- espeically the intro -- always reminded me of Stephanie Mills' "Never Knew Love Like This Before". Recently found out that both songs were written by Reggie Lucas. :) [IluvEthnicGuys]

BORDERLINE is a precious jewel! Good times! [wuppertalk]

Borderline is the most likeable track of her early career, modern Madonna has given in to the music industry I'm afraid and has lost her soul to the dullards of modern pap. In fact, I only like her stuff up to '86, then she

seems to take a few wrong turns. She's a talent, though, there's no denying it :) [HighgateSamphire]

Whatever you think of her now, she sure could sing her ass off back then. [smokiebird06]

Beautiful extract from the controversial diary, 'The Views From A Pauper's Penthouse'; £9.99

Sunday 23rd October

Thousands assembled in Benghazi to formally declare the liberation of Libya, so a big standing ovation is called for.

Way out in New Zealand, the locals are congratulating their rugby team for a hard-fought nine points to eight World Cup final triumph against a spirited France. I cannot say that I am overjoyed at their success, but one must acknowledge that the World Cup was won by the world's best team.

In India, England slumped to a fourth successive one-day cricket defeat, this time by six wickets. There needs to be an overhaul of the personnel, with the under-achieving Ravi Bopara shown the exit door.

North of Hadrian's Wall, the has-beens that are otherwise known as the 'Old Firm' each carved out victories in the SPL in that two-team division.

However, the stunning sports headlines emerged from the football in England's Premiership. At Old Trafford, the hosts were comprehensively humiliated by six goals to one by their lovely neighbours, Manchester Mercenaries. The latter took full advantage when Jonny Evans was sent off. Now Manchester Wannabees have a comfortable cushion at the top of the pile, assisted by a healthy goal difference.

Oh the jokes are coming thick and fast about ManUre's embarrassment. Simon Mann of the BBC remarked that 1-6 at Old Trafford suggested that Lancashire must be batting woefully. Someone else has quipped that on a scale of 1-6 how shameful was ManUre's capitulation?

West London also played host to a derby where Queen's Park Rangers sneaked past Chelsea by one goal to nil. The latter were handicapped by two sendings-off which obliged them to play the whole of the second half with nine men. Even then, the home team were clinging on, having earlier scored from a penalty. The appalling referee Chris Foy brandished cards all match and certainly didn't cover himself in glory,

Elsewhere in the Premiership, Robin Van Persie again inspired Arse-nil who are fast transforming into a one-man team. In the event they beat Stoke City three-one, while their fellow north London also-rans Tottenham Coldspur won by two goals to one against Blackburn Rovers. Evercrap also won at Fulham, but both mid-table teams are an irrelevance.

There was also an earthquake in eastern Turkey today. The number of fatalities may reach three figures. Such a calamity puts the trivia of sport into perspective. However some footie fans might be feeling tonight does not compare with those who have lost their lives or their loved ones.

Born on this date: Douglas Jardine (1900); Steve Harmison (1978)

Died on this date: W.G. Grace (1915); Bill Nicholson (2004)

Monday 24th October

There was heavy, prolonged rain today. It feels like July therefore.

Beyond Britain, the citizens of Morocco are casting envious eyes at their neighbours Tunisia who are holding national elections. Not to be outdone, some folk in Morocco are now demonstrating for democracy. If they saw how much of a shambles 'democracy' really is in Greece, Ireland, and even Britain and America, perhaps they might wish to have a re-think.

Further afield in Syria, the United States Ambassador is being recalled from Damascus for safety reasons. It seems that his sympathies towards the pro-democracy protesters isn't rendering him the government's flavour of the month. In a silly bout of tit-for-tat, Syria is recalling its ambassador from Washington “for consultation.” Isn't it really swell to see how diplomacy and international relations is being practised by grown-ups?

Back in Westminster village, the House of Commons played host to a debate and vote on whether Britain should be allowed a referendum on her future participation in the runaway train otherwise known as Europe. In the end, the bizarre coalition of some Conservatives and most Labour and Liberal Democrats combined to defeat the motion. However, alarmingly for the Prime Minister, it appears that in the region of eighty members of his parliamentary party chose to defy his wishes. Mr C has insisted that whilst Europe is in mid-crisis, it is not the appropriate time to be holding a public vote. Perhaps the right time will only ever emerge whenever the Conservative Party is free from the shackles of an alliance with the pro-Europe Liberal Democrats. One can therefore imagine Mr Cameron's consternation that his MPs don't seem to be aware of the mathematics of the government. Without Liberal Democrat acquiescence, David Cameron's Conservatives would be a minority government, trying to cobble together a legislative programme that won't incur defeats in the lower chamber. As long as the Liberal Democrats need to be kept on board, then it is nigh impossible for any Euro-scepticism from Mr Cameron and Mr Hague to manifest itself in any obvious way.

I have however much sympathy with the so-called rebels, whom John Major would presumably have affectionately dubbed “bastards”. Such MPs are voting both according to their conscience while firmly believing that they are representing the wishes of their constituents. The fact that about one-third of the electorate even bothers to vote at the European elections tells its own story. The British people are clearly lukewarm about Europe.

Born on this date: Reggie Kray (1933); Ronnie Kray (1933)

Died on this date: Louis Renault (1944); Vidkun Quisling (1945)

Tuesday 25th October

Our beloved Fuhrer, Herr Cameron, insists that there is no bad blood that will linger after the Euro-sceptics voted against his wishes last night. I can't help but feel that they ought to consider their position within the Conservative Party and perhaps transfer their allegiance to UKIP. There again, everyone likes to be on the winning team, so I guess that for all their collective consciences, these great idealists will stay on board the good ship Conservative because this vessel represents their best route to a seat in parliament. So much for ideals and conscience!

The deputy Fuhrer, Herr Clegg has argued that it is more preferable to be leading Europe than to be leaving Europe. He and his colleagues are of the opinion that the best way to reform Europe is to be at the heart of Europe and thus be a leading player in future treaties. It is a tempting argument. If Eurozone wasn't horribly imploding, I would be more persuaded. One sage reminded us of the complexities of solving Europe's financial woes when he recounted that Eurozone contains seventeen states while the European Union is a club of 27 states. Achieving a unity of purpose that surmounts cultural and language barriers and historic rivalries is a task indeed.

Somewhere out in the desert the remains of the late Colonel Gaddafi were secretly laid to rest. May he rot in peace.

In Kolkata, the rejuvenated India cricket team gave England another lesson in how to play a one-day international. Alistair Cook had a knack of winning the toss, but his hapless bunch couldn't win a darts match against a blind man. England's cricketers are a schizophrenic lot: masters of test cricket but clueless at the one-day version.

In the English league cup tonight, Arse-nil and ManUre successfully negotiated their last sixteen assignments, while controversy is brewing over John Terry for allegedly issuing a racist comment at QPR's Anton Ferdinand. It would be wrong to pre-judge the outcome of an FA inquiry, but JT is no saint, but there again the media just love this kind of story. I mean the sports tabloids would much rather focus on sendings-off, spats between managers, and other unsavoury incidents because extensive coverage of these dramas masks their own lack of expertise on sport itself.

I remain unimpressed with Chris Foy's shambolic handling of the west London derby the other day. He seems to think that because Chelsea are such a rich club, then they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt. If that is his prejudiced attitude, he should go and officiate at a pub league match.

Born on this date: Jimmy McIlroy (1931); Harry Gregg (1932)

Died on this date: Vincent Price (1993); Richard Harris (2002)

Wednesday 26th October

The European powers have all convened in Brussels for a conflab on the issue of how to rescue Greece without plunging themselves into trouble. I think that the participants should all get into silly costumes and attempt a re-enactment of the 1970s' European game show Jeux Sans Frontières.

While the Irish presidential election nears its finale, I've received a joke text stating that Martin McGuinness has been leaving his election leaflets under people's cars. The punchline being that old habits die hard. The Sinn Fiend representative isn't expected to win the contest. Remarkably he has had to endure a barrage of questions from Oirish people who are concerned with his 'armed struggle' curriculum vitae. While the northern unionists have had to bite their tongues about Irish republicans in power-sharing, the southern Catholics are proving less comfortable with the possibility of Sinn Fein personnel legislating on their behalf.

Elsewhere, the inquest into the death of Amy Winehouse has revealed that the tragic chanteuse drank a massive amount of alcohol which almost certainly poisoned her. Ironically this 'death by misadventure' had arisen after Amy had made genuine attempts to turn her back on 'hard living'.

Boris Johnson has expressed his disapproval of the prolonged protest by anti-capitalists who have laid siege to the ground beside St Paul's Cathedral. Maybe if the greedy financiers all developed a conscience and renounced their obscene accumulation of wealth, then there would be no need for anyone to inconvenience the good folk of the cathedral.

Tonight played host to a handful of interesting league cup matches north and south of the border. In Scotland, with Glasgow Wannabees trailing one-nil at half-time, perhaps Neil Lennon was staring at the prospect of having to shortly claim Jobseekers' Allowance, but he has been granted a stay of execution courtesy of four second-half goals against Hibernian.

The impressive Luis Suarez scored twice to rescue Liverpool in their awkward assignment at Stoke City, while a much-changed Manchester Mercenaries thumped Wolverhampton Wanderers by five goals to two. At Ewood Park, Blackburn Rovers led two-nil and then three-two before eventually conquering the admirable resistance of Newcastle United. Last but not least, Chelsea suffered an astonishing fifth red card of the season but emerged victorious two-one, after Everton too were reduced to ten men in extra time. Both teams also missed a penalty. I reckon that Chelsea need to practise scoring penalties as well as practise conceding them!

Born on this date: Francois Mitterand (1916); Hillary Clinton (1947)

Died on this date: Hoyt Axton (1999); George Swindin (2005)

Thursday 27th October

President Sarkozy has publicly confessed that Greece should never have been allowed entry into the Eurozone. Oui monsieur, c'est vrai. Anyhow, it appears that a substantial portion of Greece's debts are being written off. It is remarkable how some states and people live such a charmed life. If I incurred huge debts, would they be written off? Oh there's no justice.

Across the Irish Sea, while the Poles have been coming to Ireland, it was the turn of Ireland today to go to the polls. The hot air has all been blown, and now the counting will begin to see who has won the beauty contest, otherwise known as the Presidential election.

This has been another 'no progress day' for me. I have been having quite a lot of 'no progress days' in recent times. In fact, I have also accumulated several 'no progress years' in the last decade or two as well. Northern Ireland is just a land of woe and no opportunity for me. All I can do now is wait for divine intervention. I sincerely hope that a miracle or three can come my way in the next couple of months, as I hope that I can look back on this year with fondness. At present, the likelihood of me having good memories of 2011 is rather slim. Oh I do believe that life is just like a game of snakes and ladders. One goes up a few ladders and comes down some snakes as well. Funnily enough when one climbs a few ladders and reaches the top row of the game, there are a few snakes in the 91-100 line lurking and ready to take one back down a peg or two. It is certainly the case that the closer one sometimes gets to the prize, the harder that it can become.

I am giving sport a miss today, other than to state that if QPR's allegations of a racist comment by John Terry prove unfounded or at least unproven, then this club should be sued for defamation of character, with any proceeds going to charity. Oh yes I know that some folk would argue that Mr Terry has not much of a (good) character left to defame, but it is the principle that is at stake. If more sports stars are accused by rival teams of racism, then the complainant must be held financially liable, or else it will become open season to accuse anyone of racism or sexism.

Born on this date: Glenn Hoddle (1957); Vinny Samways (1968)

Died on this date: Tom Dowd (2002); David Shepherd (2007)

Also, may I record my disgust at how Spelga 125 gramme yogurts cost an extortionate forty-two pence in Asda, Sainsburys and Tescos. Such tiny pots are a glorified Petit Filou, containing several mouthfuls of yogurt. Mr and Mrs Spelga are having a laugh at our expense. The same supermarkets charge 61 pence for other yogurts from the Muller range. The retailers and their suppliers should be arrested for theft. Total fascism.

Friday 28th October

At a Commonwealth conference in Australia today, David Cameron has announced changes to the laws of succession of the British monarchy. As a dyed-in-the-wool British republican, I nevertheless welcome the reforms. First of all, it will no longer be permissible to bypass a first-born female as heir to the throne. In future, the first-born child will be heir regardless of gender. This belated adjustment is clearly in keeping with equality for women. It's just so typical that it has taken the Windsors so much longer to embrace the equal rights agenda.

Secondly, there will no longer be a ban on any future monarch marrying a Roman Catholic. Again this modification conforms to almost any basic human right that one can think of. It was always an absurdity for British people to pour scorn on the arranged marriages within some Asian family circles when in fact our own Sovereign was rather restricted for choice of partner, at least in terms of their religious affiliation. This liberal development will no doubt meet with the intense displeasure of Northern Ireland's so-called loyalists. They prize the monarchy if only because the institution has always paid heed to the laws arising out of the Williamite 'constitution' of the 'Glorious Revolution' which stipulated that those treacherous popish folk were to be avoided by any future king or queen. Will the Orange Disorder and the Royal Black Institution still be so unstinting in their support for the British royal family? Presumably their deference for all things royal may be expressed through gritted teeth in future, if the monarch's spouse is one of those dastardly fenian types.

Meanwhile it was announced that the bosses of many of Britain's top businesses have enjoyed nice pay rises over the last year, thank you very much. Nick Clegg correctly described this sickening news as a “slap in the face” for those of us on planet poverty who must struggle on through a landscape of cuts, no jobs, and no growth, while the greedy business types fill their boots. I personally blame their WAGs, because one can certainly anticipate that rich entrepreneurs are under pressure to satisfy the material cravings of their dissatisfied other half. Such horrible people.

Well, it looks like we are going to get through another week without the bottom falling out of the world's economy. I cannot help thinking that the prophecies of doom tend to emanate from zealous media pundits who love nothing more than a nice crisis. If the economy recovered and world harmony was restored, the media vultures would have nothing to report.

Born on this date: Bernie Ecclestone (1930); Bill Gates (1955)

Died on this date: Ted Hughes (1998); Trevor Berbick (2006)

Saturday 29

th October

Now then, now then dear old Sir Jimmy Savile has passed away. If Jim won't be able to fix it for me, then who will? God? Only if He wants to.

I attended a birthday get-together tonight for young Paul. We climaxed the festivities with a prolonged session of karaoke, whereupon all manner of cheesy pop songs were attempted. I excelled at this entertainment. I'm sure that the late Sir Jim would have approved.....as it happens.

Back in the real world, the points gap between Glasgow Strangers and wee Glasgow Wannabees has been extended which fills me with joy. The latter failed to score against a plucky Hibernian which was really sweet.

South of the border, ManUre returned to winning ways in the English Premiership with a hard-fought one-nil triumph against awkward Evercrap. However the drama was in more abundance at Stamford Bridge. In this early kick-off, Chelsea proceeded to lead one-nil and then two-one at the interval with goals from their English senior citizens, Frank Lampard and John Terry. However, perhaps the writing was on the wall in so far as Arsenil had created a number of clear openings in the first half to suggest that they hadn't come to this London derby to simply make the numbers up. In the event, the remarkable Robin Van Persie recorded a hat-trick while Theo Walcott helped himself to a goal as the away team stormed back to lead three-two and then the Dutch striker, RVP, scored twice in the dying minutes to secure a famous victory for the Gunners. Credit goes through gritted teeth to such a dazzling performance from the winners. They scored five times, they could easily have netted ten goals. Have they turned the corner? I am far from convinced. Their defence is anything but solid.

However, what of Chelsea? They appear to have gone back in time to the days of Gullit and Vialli when they were full of goals and thrills, but equally liable to concede plenty too. The greatest indictment of Chelsea is that as the third or fourth richest club in the world, they ought to have the third or fourth best goalkeeper. They don't. The once-great Petr Cech is not even amongst the top four goalkeepers in the Premiership. Furthermore, as the third or fourth richest club in the world, they ought to have the third or fourth best defence in the world. This is definitely not the case. The Blues have not achieved a shut-out in the Premiership since the opening day of the season. As the third or fourth richest club in the world, they really ought to be more effective in the transfer market. However, the sluggish Mikel plus the inconsistent Bosingwa and Torres were not smart moves.

Born on this date: Matthew Hayden (1971); Michael Vaughan (1974)

Died on this date: Joseph Pulitzer (1911); Terry Southern (1995)