Gary Watton: young, gifted, and white: BBC Executive Greed

Justifying The Unjustifiable

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'Gary Watton' xo

Friday, 18 April 2014

BBC Executive Greed

To be fair to the BBC, they have at least published the salary figures of their highest-earners, although presumably such a gesture is more borne out under duress and obligation than by any noble duty to the rest of us hoi polloi. So here folks is a snapshot of where some of your hard-earned Licence Fee gets re-distributed to. This list of greedy bastards is but the tip of the iceberg. The disproportionate and obscene amounts recorded here still don’t compare with the outrageous and disgusting amounts creamed off the BBC by their plethora of ‘presenters’ and assorted broadcasters, celebs, and ‘stars’. Is it any wonder that I no longer partake of the television licence? You won’t find me funding the lives of these mega-rich, selfish swine. Perhaps you the reader should consider doing likewise. It’s only by boycotting your television licence payments, akin to the Poll Tax revolt of 1990, that the BBC will take any heed of public disquiet. Unfortunately in modern Britain, the public have been cowed into submission and are about as likely to protest for a fair redistribution of public funds as a docile sheep. Baaaahhhh to the silly populace. Perhaps the BBC and their foolish feepayers deserve each other. xo
Here follows the hall of shame for the following greedy money-hoarders:
Natasha Adams; HR Director, Digital and Strategy: £137,800
Tony Ageh; Controller, Archive Development: £185,560
Shane Allen; Controller, Comedy Commissioning, Television: £207,000
Philip Almond; Director, Marketing and Audiences: £210,000
Jenny Baxter; Former Controller of Production, News: £130,212
Isabel Begg; Head of Commercial and Business Development: £136,000
Zai Bennett; Controller of BBC Three: £219,900
Philip Bernie; Head of TV Sport: £161,200
Nick Betts; Controller of Business, Drama, Films and Acquisitions: £217,800
Anne Bulford; Managing Director, Finance and Operations: £395,000
Richard Burdon; Human Resources Director, Corporate: £144,100
Karl Burnett; Human Resources Director, News Group and Radio: £128,900
Colin Burns; Executive Creative Director, Future Media: £175,000
Shirley Cameron; Finance and Business Director, Radio: £130,212
Kieran Clifton; Controller, Strategy, Future Media: £135,450
Andy Conroy; Chief Operating Officer of BBC Future Media/BBC Online: £159,300
Ben Cooper; Controller of Radio One and 1Xtra: £169,400
Richard Dawkins; Controller, Strategy, News and Radio: £145,665
Leighton Davies; Director, Finance Centre of Excellence: £150,490
Claire Dresser; Chief Adviser: £114,233
Phil Fearnley; General Manager, News and Knowledge; £199,700
Tessa Finch; Head of Development, Television Productions: £161,350
Mike Ford; Director of Risk and Assurance: £160,815
Mark Freeland; Head of Comedy: £234,800
Joe Godwin; Director, Children’s: £169,400
Jim Gray; Head of TV Current Affairs/Deputy Head of News Programmes: £155,000
James Harding; Director of News and Current Affairs: £340,000
James Hardy; Head of Communications, News Group: £105,800
Cassian Harrison; Editor of BBC Four: £160,000
Mark Harrison; Controller of Production, BBC North: £161,648
Kate Harwood; Head of Drama, England: £209,800
Ian Haythornthwaite; Director of Finance: £170,966
Polly Hill; Head of Independent Drama: £179,800
Susan Hogg; Executive Producer, Television: £185,085
Tamara Howe; Controller of Business, Comedy & Entertainment: £187,800
Ian Hughes; Finance Director, News: £128,172
Natalie Humphreys; Controller, Factual Production, Television: £210,000
Sarah Jones; Group General Counsel, Operations: £227,800
Damian Kavanagh; Controller of BBC Daytime: £194,000
Christine Langan; Head of BBC Films: £176,500
Roger Leatham; Controller of Rights, Legal and Business Affairs: £160,000
Ken Lee; Human Resources Director, BBC North: £146,200
Charlotte Moore; Controller of BBC One: £244,800
John Moran; Former Head of Commercial and Business Development: £134,799
Paul Mylrea; Former Director of Public Affairs: £170,000
Sanjay Nazerali; Former Director of Marketing and Audiences, News: £163,340
Lisa Opie; Controller of Business, Knowledge and Daytime: £207,800
Nick Patten; Former Head of In-house Features, Television: £156,300
Richard Payne; Head of Finance Service Delivery: £170,659
Clare Pizey; Head of Factual Entertainment: £149,800
Gautam Rangarajan; Director of Strategy: £162,800
Ralph Rivera; Director, Future Media: £309,000
Nicki Sheard; Former Director of Marketing and Audiences, Radio: £132,801
John Shield; Director, Communications: £144,000
Kim Shillinglaw; Controller of BBC Two and BBC Four: £160,240
Rhodri Talfan Davies; Director, BBC Cymru Wales: £167,800
Katie Taylor; UK Controller of Entertainment Production: £187,800
Ceri Thomas; Head of News Programmes: £166,448
Emmet Townsend; Systems Development Director: £175,000
Charlie Villar; Director of Corporate Finance: £186,500
Cary Wakefield; Director, Marketing and Audiences, Television: £186,800
Jonathan Wall; Controller of Radio 5 live and 5 live sports extra: £142,800
Jane Weedon; Former Director, Business Development: £129,000
Gwyneth Williams; Controller of Radio 4 and Radio 4 Extra: £191,418
Emma Willis; Head of Commissioning, Documentaries: £150,878
Pat Younge; Former Chief Creative Officer: £255,800
The following can be located among the list at http://aftu.blog.com/greedy-bastards/
Lucy Adams
Helen Boaden
Jessica Cecil
Danny Cohen
Dominic Coles
Rachel Currie
Clare Dyer
Graham Ellis
Mark Friend
Paul Greeves
William Greswell
Andy Griffee
Janice Hadlow
Tony Hall
Mary Hockaday
David Holdsworth
Peter Horrocks
Sue Inglish
Peter Johnston
David Jordan
Richard Klein
Mark Linsey
John Linwood
Ken MacQuarrie
Anne Morrison
Roger Mosey
Derek O’Gara
Zarin Patel
Matthew Postgate
James Purnell
Liz Rylatt
Peter Salmon
Bal Samra
Bob Shennan
Barbara Slater
Paul Smith
Ben Stephenson
Emma Swain
John Tate
Beverley Tew
John Turner
Francesca Unsworth
Adrian Van Klaveren
Alice Webb
Roger Wright
Alan Yentob
[These lists were compiled by the anti-fascist commentator Gary Watton; See also http://gw930.blog.com]

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Congratulations Gary Watton!

Gary Watton of Coleraine has made history by becoming the first winner of the annual Men's Points Table at the Portrush Parkrun of 2012-2013. This represents a victory for the underdog! Bravo, sir.

I thought that I would mention it here as a form of un-British gloating, because well if you scan through countless Facepuke updates from le menu peuple, all manner of nobodies are updating the most mundane, ridiculous trivia imaginable and their little cronies come on board and give their absurd updates a big thumbs up. For example, ‘I have managed to get through four bags of ironing, with only another four still to do’, which is then followed by about four hundred people hitting the like button. Flip me. Compared to such bullshit, I must be an outstanding success story.

I guess that ultimately it is about playing the game, in other words, selling your soul and accumulating a lot of horrible people as ‘friends’, and then posting Farcebook updates which your army of little minions then come alongside and pay tribute to. Oh I guess that mediocrity attracts mediocrity!

What appals me however are the self-important types who post a message on Facespook but don’t have the generosity of spirit to pay a moment’s heed to anybody else’s updates. It’s a case of ‘hey everyone. Look at me. I’ve got something really important and interesting to say. Come and assemble in your hundreds and read my half-baked nonsense about nothing in particular, but don’t expect me to go and give any time to your updates. I am far too much of an attention-seeker to look at and bother with anyone else’s updates’.

Now this is what disturbs me most about such little people: If you are married, and/or have children, and/or have work colleagues, and/or have loving relatives, then why the fuck do you still crave attention? I guess that folk who seem to be happily married and/or people with hundreds of [virtual] Facepuke friends are horrendously insecure!

A book publisher

GW PUBLICATIONS
If you are able and willing to furnish me with your book project, I am able and willing to publish it for thee. The finished item will be produced to a high specification which will compare favourably with any other product on any given book shelf. That I can promise thee. What I cannot promise is that you will become a best-selling author. However, do feel free to be seduced by other rogue publishers who may mislead you in terms of the eventual outcome. In the mean time, I have set out my stall avec the following questions and answers. Oh do feel free to scrutinise:

Q: Why would I wish to be published by your company when there are bigger, more famous firms out there?
A: Indeed, but you may discover that the large, mainstream publishers tend to back established writers and celebs. They don’t tend to entertain new writers, however talented they may be. We open a door for new writers.

Q: Does my book feature on billboards, magazine, radio, and television commercials?
A: Phew, in an ideal world it would, but regrettably only the huge publishing houses with the books by their non-writer megastars tend to afford such advertising campaigns. Thus, you will be advised to advertise via social networking sites.

Q: Will my book actually end up in the shops?
A: Yes, unlike lots of other publishers who merely promise the pathetic line about “your book will be available on Amazon”, when actually all books are “available on Amazon”. Instead, we do have books in a host of Waterstones and smaller retailers.

Q: How long would it take for my book to be published?
A: Once your work has been emailed to us, it can take as little as five weeks, and we guarantee no longer than five months. Our service includes proof-reading and also registering your book so that it is available for retail and for the libraries.

Q: Do you charge for your publishing service, and if so, how much?
A: Yes, we charge either £400, you receive 10% royalties and 10 complimentary copies or you pay £500, receive 20% royalties and 20 complimentary copies. By selling your 10 or 20 copies, you already will be recovering your relatively small outlay.

Q: Why do you charge these amounts?
A: For our small fee, £75 plus VAT goes towards the cover artwork. The printers also charge us about £100 for set-up costs. Your ten (or twenty) copies will cost us about £50 (or £100) including delivery charge. Your ISBN is worth about £10 too.

Q: Are you a vanity publisher that pockets a large fee and then cares little for subsequent sales?
A: On the contrary, as we are left with a minimal amount after the aforementioned costs (usually around £150), it is clearly in our interests to ensure lots of sales to increase our revenue and to boost your chances of royalties.

Q: Can you give me one good reason why I should invest with you?
A: You will be the owner of a quality paperback with an eye-catching, laminated cover. Your chances of being taken seriously next time by a larger publisher will increase if you have something in the public domain.

Q: What is the likely scenario after I have invested with your firm?
A: We contact almost 300 Waterstones stores plus several hundred independent retailers plus about thousands of British and Irish libraries. Your book will sell. Sales figures will clearly be conditioned by the subject of your book and its quality.

Q: Can you tell me a little bit more about your service?
A: We are called GW Publications. We have taken over another company called Parkbench Publications. You can email us at gw930@fsmail.net ***Other publishers advertise great offers but are shy at disclosing the small print. We at least publish our fees.***

My Obituary

Family and several friends were shocked, though not entirely surprised, to learn of the sudden death of Gary Watton after a lengthy illness. This supremely talented author, genius, and misfit had fought a courageous battle against alienation and loneliness.
A handful of people jumped at the opportunity to take a day off work and pay their insincere, clichéd respects at the funeral service which passed off without incident apart from when the deceased opened the coffin lid and grumpily exhorted the vicar to keep the noise down, before returning to sleep. At the graveside, a volley of shots was fired over the coffin by the Boys Brigade from their water pistols for their ex-volunteer. Also at the graveside, one relative was heard to remark: “I will miss his sarcasm”, while another mourner added: “I do not know how I will be able to cope without his cynicism.” Watton’s local pub landlord was visibly upset (at the thought that his takings would never be the same again) while a representative from the dead man’s mortgage lenders also expressed his regret at the unexpected death after a prolonged illness. It was however of some consolation to the assembled few that the deceased passed away noisily in his sleep.
The vicar (and presumably a part-time actor) spoke movingly of how the former author had been the very essence of warmth, pleasantness, and sheer joy, adding that no party had ever been complete without Mr Watton letting off steam about something or other. The local police Chief Inspector also paid tribute to how Gary had frequently helped the police with their enquiries. The mourners were assured that the deceased would be joining Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson, Joe Stalin, Jade Goody, and Frank Lampard’s mum in heaven.
At the conclusion of the burial, some relatives retired to a nearby hostelry where they drank several toasts to the deceased and recalled with considerable mirth, Gary Watton’s many embarrassing exploits, a session which predictably lasted into the wee small hours, before bracing themselves for the reading of the will to ascertain who would be the unfortunate recipient of his clothes and record collection.
Perhaps the most fitting epitaph for Gary Watton was conceived by himself: a hugely under-rated actor, comedian, dancer, politician, singer, and writer, there was nothing wrong with him that a little love and understanding wouldn’t have cured.
In lieu of flowers, please give a donation to the International Ranters’ Society or to S.P.I.T.E (the Society for the Preservation of Incredibly Talented Enigmas).

Gary Watton: young, gifted, and white

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Justifying The Unjustifiable

Friday, 18 April 2014

BBC Executive Greed

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