Sunday 23rd October
Thousands assembled in Benghazi to formally declare the liberation of Libya, so a big standing ovation is called for.
Way out in New Zealand, the locals are congratulating their rugby team for a hard-fought nine points to eight World Cup final triumph against a spirited France. I cannot say that I am overjoyed at their success, but one must acknowledge that the World Cup was won by the world's best team.
In India, England slumped to a fourth successive one-day cricket defeat, this time by six wickets. There needs to be an overhaul of the personnel, with the under-achieving Ravi Bopara shown the exit door.
North of Hadrian's Wall, the has-beens that are otherwise known as the 'Old Firm' each carved out victories in the SPL in that two-team division.
However, the stunning sports headlines emerged from the football in England's Premiership. At Old Trafford, the hosts were comprehensively humiliated by six goals to one by their lovely neighbours, Manchester Mercenaries. The latter took full advantage when Jonny Evans was sent off. Now Manchester Wannabees have a comfortable cushion at the top of the pile, assisted by a healthy goal difference.
Oh the jokes are coming thick and fast about ManUre's embarrassment. Simon Mann of the BBC remarked that 1-6 at Old Trafford suggested that Lancashire must be batting woefully. Someone else has quipped that on a scale of 1-6 how shameful was ManUre's capitulation?
West London also played host to a derby where Queen's Park Rangers sneaked past Chelsea by one goal to nil. The latter were handicapped by two sendings-off which obliged them to play the whole of the second half with nine men. Even then, the home team were clinging on, having earlier scored from a penalty. The appalling referee Chris Foy brandished cards all match and certainly didn't cover himself in glory,
Elsewhere in the Premiership, Robin Van Persie again inspired Arse-nil who are fast transforming into a one-man team. In the event they beat Stoke City three-one, while their fellow north London also-rans Tottenham Coldspur won by two goals to one against Blackburn Rovers. Evercrap also won at Fulham, but both mid-table teams are an irrelevance.
There was also an earthquake in eastern Turkey today. The number of fatalities may reach three figures. Such a calamity puts the trivia of sport into perspective. However some footie fans might be feeling tonight does not compare with those who have lost their lives or their loved ones.
Born on this date: Douglas Jardine (1900); Steve Harmison (1978)
Died on this date: W.G. Grace (1915); Bill Nicholson (2004)
Monday 24th October
There was heavy, prolonged rain today. It feels like July therefore.
Beyond Britain, the citizens of Morocco are casting envious eyes at their neighbours Tunisia who are holding national elections. Not to be outdone, some folk in Morocco are now demonstrating for democracy. If they saw how much of a shambles 'democracy' really is in Greece, Ireland, and even Britain and America, perhaps they might wish to have a re-think.
Further afield in Syria, the United States Ambassador is being recalled from Damascus for safety reasons. It seems that his sympathies towards the pro-democracy protesters isn't rendering him the government's flavour of the month. In a silly bout of tit-for-tat, Syria is recalling its ambassador from Washington “for consultation.” Isn't it really swell to see how diplomacy and international relations is being practised by grown-ups?
Back in Westminster village, the House of Commons played host to a debate and vote on whether Britain should be allowed a referendum on her future participation in the runaway train otherwise known as Europe. In the end, the bizarre coalition of some Conservatives and most Labour and Liberal Democrats combined to defeat the motion. However, alarmingly for the Prime Minister, it appears that in the region of eighty members of his parliamentary party chose to defy his wishes. Mr C has insisted that whilst Europe is in mid-crisis, it is not the appropriate time to be holding a public vote. Perhaps the right time will only ever emerge whenever the Conservative Party is free from the shackles of an alliance with the pro-Europe Liberal Democrats. One can therefore imagine Mr Cameron's consternation that his MPs don't seem to be aware of the mathematics of the government. Without Liberal Democrat acquiescence, David Cameron's Conservatives would be a minority government, trying to cobble together a legislative programme that won't incur defeats in the lower chamber. As long as the Liberal Democrats need to be kept on board, then it is nigh impossible for any Euro-scepticism from Mr Cameron and Mr Hague to manifest itself in any obvious way.
I have however much sympathy with the so-called rebels, whom John Major would presumably have affectionately dubbed “bastards”. Such MPs are voting both according to their conscience while firmly believing that they are representing the wishes of their constituents. The fact that about one-third of the electorate even bothers to vote at the European elections tells its own story. The British people are clearly lukewarm about Europe.
Born on this date: Reggie Kray (1933); Ronnie Kray (1933)
Died on this date: Louis Renault (1944); Vidkun Quisling (1945)
Tuesday 25th October
Our beloved Fuhrer, Herr Cameron, insists that there is no bad blood that will linger after the Euro-sceptics voted against his wishes last night. I can't help but feel that they ought to consider their position within the Conservative Party and perhaps transfer their allegiance to UKIP. There again, everyone likes to be on the winning team, so I guess that for all their collective consciences, these great idealists will stay on board the good ship Conservative because this vessel represents their best route to a seat in parliament. So much for ideals and conscience!
The deputy Fuhrer, Herr Clegg has argued that it is more preferable to be leading Europe than to be leaving Europe. He and his colleagues are of the opinion that the best way to reform Europe is to be at the heart of Europe and thus be a leading player in future treaties. It is a tempting argument. If Eurozone wasn't horribly imploding, I would be more persuaded. One sage reminded us of the complexities of solving Europe's financial woes when he recounted that Eurozone contains seventeen states while the European Union is a club of 27 states. Achieving a unity of purpose that surmounts cultural and language barriers and historic rivalries is a task indeed.
Somewhere out in the desert the remains of the late Colonel Gaddafi were secretly laid to rest. May he rot in peace.
In Kolkata, the rejuvenated India cricket team gave England another lesson in how to play a one-day international. Alistair Cook had a knack of winning the toss, but his hapless bunch couldn't win a darts match against a blind man. England's cricketers are a schizophrenic lot: masters of test cricket but clueless at the one-day version.
In the English league cup tonight, Arse-nil and ManUre successfully negotiated their last sixteen assignments, while controversy is brewing over John Terry for allegedly issuing a racist comment at QPR's Anton Ferdinand. It would be wrong to pre-judge the outcome of an FA inquiry, but JT is no saint, but there again the media just love this kind of story. I mean the sports tabloids would much rather focus on sendings-off, spats between managers, and other unsavoury incidents because extensive coverage of these dramas masks their own lack of expertise on sport itself.
I remain unimpressed with Chris Foy's shambolic handling of the west London derby the other day. He seems to think that because Chelsea are such a rich club, then they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt. If that is his prejudiced attitude, he should go and officiate at a pub league match.
Born on this date: Jimmy McIlroy (1931); Harry Gregg (1932)
Died on this date: Vincent Price (1993); Richard Harris (2002)
Wednesday 26th October
The European powers have all convened in Brussels for a conflab on the issue of how to rescue Greece without plunging themselves into trouble. I think that the participants should all get into silly costumes and attempt a re-enactment of the 1970s' European game show Jeux Sans Frontières.
While the Irish presidential election nears its finale, I've received a joke text stating that Martin McGuinness has been leaving his election leaflets under people's cars. The punchline being that old habits die hard. The Sinn Fiend representative isn't expected to win the contest. Remarkably he has had to endure a barrage of questions from Oirish people who are concerned with his 'armed struggle' curriculum vitae. While the northern unionists have had to bite their tongues about Irish republicans in power-sharing, the southern Catholics are proving less comfortable with the possibility of Sinn Fein personnel legislating on their behalf.
Elsewhere, the inquest into the death of Amy Winehouse has revealed that the tragic chanteuse drank a massive amount of alcohol which almost certainly poisoned her. Ironically this 'death by misadventure' had arisen after Amy had made genuine attempts to turn her back on 'hard living'.
Boris Johnson has expressed his disapproval of the prolonged protest by anti-capitalists who have laid siege to the ground beside St Paul's Cathedral. Maybe if the greedy financiers all developed a conscience and renounced their obscene accumulation of wealth, then there would be no need for anyone to inconvenience the good folk of the cathedral.
Tonight played host to a handful of interesting league cup matches north and south of the border. In Scotland, with Glasgow Wannabees trailing one-nil at half-time, perhaps Neil Lennon was staring at the prospect of having to shortly claim Jobseekers' Allowance, but he has been granted a stay of execution courtesy of four second-half goals against Hibernian.
The impressive Luis Suarez scored twice to rescue Liverpool in their awkward assignment at Stoke City, while a much-changed Manchester Mercenaries thumped Wolverhampton Wanderers by five goals to two. At Ewood Park, Blackburn Rovers led two-nil and then three-two before eventually conquering the admirable resistance of Newcastle United. Last but not least, Chelsea suffered an astonishing fifth red card of the season but emerged victorious two-one, after Everton too were reduced to ten men in extra time. Both teams also missed a penalty. I reckon that Chelsea need to practise scoring penalties as well as practise conceding them!
Born on this date: Francois Mitterand (1916); Hillary Clinton (1947)
Died on this date: Hoyt Axton (1999); George Swindin (2005)
Thursday 27th October
President Sarkozy has publicly confessed that Greece should never have been allowed entry into the Eurozone. Oui monsieur, c'est vrai. Anyhow, it appears that a substantial portion of Greece's debts are being written off. It is remarkable how some states and people live such a charmed life. If I incurred huge debts, would they be written off? Oh there's no justice.
Across the Irish Sea, while the Poles have been coming to Ireland, it was the turn of Ireland today to go to the polls. The hot air has all been blown, and now the counting will begin to see who has won the beauty contest, otherwise known as the Presidential election.
This has been another 'no progress day' for me. I have been having quite a lot of 'no progress days' in recent times. In fact, I have also accumulated several 'no progress years' in the last decade or two as well. Northern Ireland is just a land of woe and no opportunity for me. All I can do now is wait for divine intervention. I sincerely hope that a miracle or three can come my way in the next couple of months, as I hope that I can look back on this year with fondness. At present, the likelihood of me having good memories of 2011 is rather slim. Oh I do believe that life is just like a game of snakes and ladders. One goes up a few ladders and comes down some snakes as well. Funnily enough when one climbs a few ladders and reaches the top row of the game, there are a few snakes in the 91-100 line lurking and ready to take one back down a peg or two. It is certainly the case that the closer one sometimes gets to the prize, the harder that it can become.
I am giving sport a miss today, other than to state that if QPR's allegations of a racist comment by John Terry prove unfounded or at least unproven, then this club should be sued for defamation of character, with any proceeds going to charity. Oh yes I know that some folk would argue that Mr Terry has not much of a (good) character left to defame, but it is the principle that is at stake. If more sports stars are accused by rival teams of racism, then the complainant must be held financially liable, or else it will become open season to accuse anyone of racism or sexism.
Born on this date: Glenn Hoddle (1957); Vinny Samways (1968)
Died on this date: Tom Dowd (2002); David Shepherd (2007)
Also, may I record my disgust at how Spelga 125 gramme yogurts cost an extortionate forty-two pence in Asda, Sainsburys and Tescos. Such tiny pots are a glorified Petit Filou, containing several mouthfuls of yogurt. Mr and Mrs Spelga are having a laugh at our expense. The same supermarkets charge 61 pence for other yogurts from the Muller range. The retailers and their suppliers should be arrested for theft. Total fascism.
Friday 28th October
At a Commonwealth conference in Australia today, David Cameron has announced changes to the laws of succession of the British monarchy. As a dyed-in-the-wool British republican, I nevertheless welcome the reforms. First of all, it will no longer be permissible to bypass a first-born female as heir to the throne. In future, the first-born child will be heir regardless of gender. This belated adjustment is clearly in keeping with equality for women. It's just so typical that it has taken the Windsors so much longer to embrace the equal rights agenda.
Secondly, there will no longer be a ban on any future monarch marrying a Roman Catholic. Again this modification conforms to almost any basic human right that one can think of. It was always an absurdity for British people to pour scorn on the arranged marriages within some Asian family circles when in fact our own Sovereign was rather restricted for choice of partner, at least in terms of their religious affiliation. This liberal development will no doubt meet with the intense displeasure of Northern Ireland's so-called loyalists. They prize the monarchy if only because the institution has always paid heed to the laws arising out of the Williamite 'constitution' of the 'Glorious Revolution' which stipulated that those treacherous popish folk were to be avoided by any future king or queen. Will the Orange Disorder and the Royal Black Institution still be so unstinting in their support for the British royal family? Presumably their deference for all things royal may be expressed through gritted teeth in future, if the monarch's spouse is one of those dastardly fenian types.
Meanwhile it was announced that the bosses of many of Britain's top businesses have enjoyed nice pay rises over the last year, thank you very much. Nick Clegg correctly described this sickening news as a “slap in the face” for those of us on planet poverty who must struggle on through a landscape of cuts, no jobs, and no growth, while the greedy business types fill their boots. I personally blame their WAGs, because one can certainly anticipate that rich entrepreneurs are under pressure to satisfy the material cravings of their dissatisfied other half. Such horrible people.
Well, it looks like we are going to get through another week without the bottom falling out of the world's economy. I cannot help thinking that the prophecies of doom tend to emanate from zealous media pundits who love nothing more than a nice crisis. If the economy recovered and world harmony was restored, the media vultures would have nothing to report.
Born on this date: Bernie Ecclestone (1930); Bill Gates (1955)
Died on this date: Ted Hughes (1998); Trevor Berbick (2006)
Saturday 29
th October
Now then, now then dear old Sir Jimmy Savile has passed away. If Jim won't be able to fix it for me, then who will? God? Only if He wants to.
I attended a birthday get-together tonight for young Paul. We climaxed the festivities with a prolonged session of karaoke, whereupon all manner of cheesy pop songs were attempted. I excelled at this entertainment. I'm sure that the late Sir Jim would have approved.....as it happens.
Back in the real world, the points gap between Glasgow Strangers and wee Glasgow Wannabees has been extended which fills me with joy. The latter failed to score against a plucky Hibernian which was really sweet.
South of the border, ManUre returned to winning ways in the English Premiership with a hard-fought one-nil triumph against awkward Evercrap. However the drama was in more abundance at Stamford Bridge. In this early kick-off, Chelsea proceeded to lead one-nil and then two-one at the interval with goals from their English senior citizens, Frank Lampard and John Terry. However, perhaps the writing was on the wall in so far as Arsenil had created a number of clear openings in the first half to suggest that they hadn't come to this London derby to simply make the numbers up. In the event, the remarkable Robin Van Persie recorded a hat-trick while Theo Walcott helped himself to a goal as the away team stormed back to lead three-two and then the Dutch striker, RVP, scored twice in the dying minutes to secure a famous victory for the Gunners. Credit goes through gritted teeth to such a dazzling performance from the winners. They scored five times, they could easily have netted ten goals. Have they turned the corner? I am far from convinced. Their defence is anything but solid.
However, what of Chelsea? They appear to have gone back in time to the days of Gullit and Vialli when they were full of goals and thrills, but equally liable to concede plenty too. The greatest indictment of Chelsea is that as the third or fourth richest club in the world, they ought to have the third or fourth best goalkeeper. They don't. The once-great Petr Cech is not even amongst the top four goalkeepers in the Premiership. Furthermore, as the third or fourth richest club in the world, they ought to have the third or fourth best defence in the world. This is definitely not the case. The Blues have not achieved a shut-out in the Premiership since the opening day of the season. As the third or fourth richest club in the world, they really ought to be more effective in the transfer market. However, the sluggish Mikel plus the inconsistent Bosingwa and Torres were not smart moves.
Born on this date: Matthew Hayden (1971); Michael Vaughan (1974)
Died on this date: Joseph Pulitzer (1911); Terry Southern (1995)
